Nobody Gives

There is no word, no emotion, to describe the feeling you get when it all ends up somewhere you didn't actually choose and you wake up in the green space wandering at night. Suddenly, awake in that field. No idea of how you got there.

And this is the case in your case load that speaks to you. The person whom is most dissociated. It all feels so familiar.

And nobody gives a shit. 

Grief Again

I wonder how it can be that life can take such dramatic turns, with such massive overhauling change--divorce, death, moves, endings, and even beginnings so jarring that you feel displaced from your own self and life. Nothing is the same. It is as if you aren't you anymore. There is a strangeness, an unfamiliar that can make you want to latch on to the old, no matter how terrible it once was--to run back to something--to anything you once knew.

But that isn't the plan, if you want to heal. 

One of the more jarring pieces when you enter into this land of disturbed time where you sit with loss and change in this act of grieving, is that you feel separated, isolated from other people not currently in the midst of disturbed time. You see the fragile world. You see life's precariousness. You see through a different lens. It isn't even the same world you see. It is as if you have been sucked into the Upside Down with Will.     

And the rest of the world spins madly on.

Far off. The loss not only of what you grieve--but also the loss of connection to those still in the non Upside Down. The ones who don't know or haven't been here to this displaced world can't understand it. 

And so the world spins madly on.