What is the relevant difference between covert, psychological coercion and communication? At what point does one merge into the other in relationships?
What of the land of small demands and preferences? The seemingly benign I-like-your-hair-this-way-and-not-that-way type preferences? Somehow the alarms in the body get sounded, anxiety floods in out of nowhere. An emotional avalanche triggered, you might vaguely remember this feeling that threads into never feeling good enough and why can't I just be me?
Then upon listening to the words of somebody out there in the world as regards 3 clues of toxic relationships you are reminded of the following:
Clue 1 of toxic situation = regular confusion in the form of a consistent pattern that something is not quite right. Asking the question of yourself, why am I so confused as to what is going on? Why am I constantly unsure of what is going on?
Clue 2 regular investigation in asking the question, is this right? Is this toxic? Hypervigilence to the details--the texts, the DMs, the messages, and constant analysis and mulling over the microdetails. Seeking a 2nd and 3rd and 4th opinion from people in your life that you trust because ultimately you're confused.
Clue 3 covert coercion which might boil down to some subtleties early on. But when the message communicated when you attempt to be yourself is that being you is not acceptable and that is why he needs space, why then you must consider the potential reality--that the real authentic, quirky you, is not welcome in this relationship. And a relationship that is not good for both people is good for neither.
