dark comedy

Apparently, a point in the narcissistic grand scheme of things occurs when the script begins to resemble dark comedy. The play--anything but predictable. Somehow, the dark comedy morphs into preposterous. As in, who would do that? No one. Except one living on the narcissistic planet.

Do not underestimate such a tool. It is powerful in being unbelievable.

When you go to describe the happenings to someone, no one will believe you.

Even when you minimize as you tell the story, even when you downplay the circumstances, you sound as though you must be the sort of person whom exaggerates things. Obviously.

Recently, my ex failed in manipulating money out of someone. He contacted me to request that I help him convince and fight against some of the people on my side of our disagreements. Yes, you read that right. My ex actually wanted me to argue on his behalf to this friend of mine to help him and give him (my ex) money. This "helping" him would ultimately thwart my own interests.

In the span of a short phone conversation, he adroitly took the stage to play the financial victim of my friend's sudden betrayal--this friend was going to give me money--and now they have turned on him, abandoning him and everything is loss, loss, loss.

Same conversation. He threatened me, if I didn't do this manipulative "favor" for him.

I do not make this shit up. No one could.

So I cope by reminding myself that this will make good material for my book. Question is, will it be fiction or non-fiction? If I endeavor to write a fictional account of  this, readers will think me poor writer for making such preposterous plot lines up. If I write a nonfictional account of this, readers will think me exaggerator par-excellence and my credibility will fly out the window. And so, I suppose it will have to be a dark comedy for the stage.

when two become one

In some sort of facebook-worthy, publishable manner, he was going to oh-so-generously give me two hundred dollars for covering childcare of the kids--our kids--the kids that he fathered--for two weeks while he vacations somewhere in the Rockies, likely with his new GF. But, wait. He decided that I am only covering five of his actual days of kid time and two hundred, would be way too much moula and so decided to give me one hundred, instead.

Oh my. I would actually hate to be the recipient of some sort of ridiculously-over-the-top generosity of two hundred dollars. I mean, my God, what would I do with all that cash?

Step aside, Ivana Trump. Here I come.

I might start bragging about bleeding him dry of TWO HUNDRED greenbacks in TWO WEEKS!

I mean, seriously. Look at my manipulative success. All the cash he's given me in the past year, could amount to a small fortune. And they say the narcissist has no empathy. Clearly, they didn't meet my philanthropic philosopher Ex!!

Oh, wait, can zero technically be defined as a small fortune?

I'm almost certain that, philosophically, it can be.

I'm almost certain, that this is precisely what he tells his friends.

And, I'm certain that he has labeled himself as the most-generous-divorcing male on the planet, par excellence, because, he's got to have you thinking that he is the best at everything, including divorce.